FOOTBALL - An Explanation for Americans

1) It's FOOTBALL, not soccer
2) There are no cheerleaders, or hot dogs. No endzones, touch-downs, field goals, "plays", "downs", tight ends or time-outs. Sadly, there is Budweiser .
3) The game only lasts for 90 minutes, not 5 hours, so get there early.
4) Do not, under any circumstances, stand up and shout "Go long" or "Sack the quarterback"
5) Do not, under any circumstances, refer to the England team as "Those Brits".
6) The internationally renowned celebrity supermodel, Sir David Beckham, is not allowed to go and sit back on the bench after he has taken a kick.
7) No points are awarded for kicking the ball over the crossbar (otherwise Argentina would now have already qualified)
8) It's "Defence" not "DE-fense"
9) It is customary to enter the stadium drunk, and leave even drunker.
10) For more info, and a guide to the basic rules, click here